What's Right for Lefty?

Curtis has always been my most lovey-dovey child. He is the only one of my three kids that has ever told me that I'm his best friend. He is the snuggliest. He loves to hug. He also says, "I love you", way more than the other two ever did at age 5. Lately, just over the past few weeks, he has started this thing where he will grab me, look me in the eyes, and say, "I love you, Mommy". He does it just about every day. He's realized that if he gets me to stop what I'm doing and if he looks right at me when he says it, it will be more powerful. And one other thing--it's not always "Mommy". Sometimes it's "Mom". That sure sign that they're getting older--that transition from "Mommy" to "Mom". Heartbreaking. *sigh*

Anyhow...my point? My boy/my little lovebug/my best friend is getting so big! 

Curtis will be finishing up with preschool in June. His last day of preschool will also be his 6th birthday. It will be a miracle if I don't shed a tear on that day.

As Curtis makes the transition to kindergarten, there is so much to think about. It wasn't like this with my other kids. They just finished preschool and off to kinder they went. It's so different when you have a kid with special needs. There are so many decisions that have to be made along the way. My head has been spinning. My anxiety has been high, this past week, especially. I've tossed and turned at night. Sometimes I wish I could trust that it will all work out on its own, but I know from experience (my own and that of others) that you can't do that. It is my job to know what is going on with him and to be involved with this process. It is my duty to make sure that his plan for kindergarten is appropriate. It's a stressful task.

For the past few months, Curtis' therapists and teachers at school have been examining and evaluating him. He has been evaluated for both his triennial evaluation (his initial eval was when he entered the school system in 2011, so this eval is required since it's been three years) and for his transition into kindergarten. He's had speech, physical therapy, occupational therapy, and adaptive PE evals. He's been observed in the classroom setting and on the playground. I wasn't happy with a recent speech evaluation that they performed (or rather, with the lack or preparedness on the therapist's part), so I made sure that they had everything they needed ahead of time (doctor records, previous therapy evals, etc.). Can I just take a moment to tell you that if you have a child in the school system (any school system) that is undergoing evaluations of any type--make sure that the people doing the evaluations have the background information on your child. This can be very important! Other than that, I've just had to wait until they were done. I don't know that it will ever get easier to know that Curtis has to sit through those tests. I have been there when he has taken some of them--and a few of them we even filled out at home. It's all very unnerving. Some of it necessary, yes.  

The big meeting to discuss all of this is coming up. Is Curtis ready to move on to a general education kindergarten classroom? Yes. I know he is, no doubt about it. My biggest concerns for Curtis entering kindergarten at this point are 1) safety and 2) falling behind academically due to his lack of fine motor skills. I already know that they don't want to provide him with an aide in the classroom. Am I OK with this? I don't know. Honestly, I don't! Does he need the aide for all of the little tasks in the classroom, or will this just become a crutch and prevent him from progressing on his own? I just don't know. I suppose no one really does. It's a wait-and-see game, and I hate that. I'm a planner. I don't like "wait-and-see". 

If you had asked me a few months ago how I thought Curtis would fare in kindergarten without an aide, I probably would have said I thought he would be OK. But here we are, a month away from finishing up with preschool and there are still things that Curtis has difficulty with--things that "typical" kids his age should be able to do without much assistance from their kindergarten teacher. A few of my concerns: 1) He still has what I would consider a lot of difficulty with writing. He can print some letters, but he can't write them on a straight line. He has trouble grasping the pencil properly. I work on it with him and his OT works on it, but it's just coming along really slowly. 2) Cutting with scissors--straight line cutting is fine, anything else is a mess. And he gets frustrated and ends up ripping the paper. He'd never be able to do a cutting project (or any two-handed project) without one-on-one help in the classroom. Basically, any sort of fine motor skills are still an issue. He's getting better, but he still needs a lot of help. 3) Potty issues. We are still dealing with semi-frequent potty accidents. Some of this is because he has a hard time getting his pants on and off, some of it is just because. I can't get a straight answer out of any doctor as to why he still has potty issues at almost 6 years old. 4) Playground safety. Curtis+ 80 other five and six-year-olds running around like crazy people=danger. His balance is improving tremendously, but it's definitely not 100%. And he gets nervous around large groups. A bunch of little kids jumping and pushing each other on that playground structure just gives me anxiety. End of story.  

Curtis IS doing really great with a lot of things, however. He is beginning to read. I am blown away by all of the sight words he knows. Socially, he has come a long way since he first started preschool. He loves to be in the classroom environment. He also loves to make friends and to be around other kids. He is SO excited for kindergarten (even though I'm not sure he understands it just yet...I'm still trying to explain to him that all of his preschool buddies won't be there). And I'm excited for him.

I don't know yet what the therapists and teachers will suggest for him. My goal? A kindergarten environment that will be both safe and that will provide the best scenario for him to succeed in the classroom. Let's see what sort of plan we can come up with. He will be getting an all new "team" since he's going to a new school next year and I'm hoping to meet a few of them at the meeting. Fingers crossed that everyone is on board to do what is right for Curtis!

 

Overdue December Update

I just realized that I never updated after my last "vent" post.

So we had the meeting and I think it went well. 

The good news: there is a new OT at the school and so far I like her A LOT. She seems really with it, on top of things, etc. Complete 180 from the other OT so far. She totally agreed with me about the handwriting goal and said she was "surprised that he didn't already have one." We added it to his IEP. Boom. Just like that. Easy-peasy. Yay.

In the end, I didn't push adding extra hours of OT because they showed me that he was already almost caught up on hours. I have the OT's email and she responds when I email her (something that never happened with the other OT) and see I her around the school (also something that never happened with the other OT)...I'm feeling comfortable with her and with the team's promise that they will "stay on top of it". Trust me...I will keep on them! 

Curtis' speech therapist came in and said that he is doing great. She is going to do a formal evaluation on him in a few months and we are all meeting again to review that evaluation. It is her belief that he will be ready to be released from speech. I have talked to some friends who have kids or have had their kids in speech and they have mixed feelings about this. If anyone has any advice for me about this, please let me know. Curtis has been in speech therapy since he was a baby. On the one hand, I think I'm almost afraid to let him leave speech therapy. Like--what will he do without it? Will he be OK? And on the other hand, I think--WOW, look at him! I never in a bazillion years thought he'd make it this far. To think that we went from being told he may never speak, to having him bounce out of speech therapy before he starts elementary school. It's really unbelievable.    

His preschool teacher was at the meeting. I had told her a few days before that I didn't think she needed to be present at the meeting, but now I'm glad she was there. She really backed me up on a few things, which was great. She also piped in that Curtis' social skills were really "blossoming" this year. It's always nice to hear things like that.

We are all meeting again in a few months. That is when we discuss the speech eval and I think we might also have an early chat about kindergarten. I did ask if they thought he'd be placed in a kinder class at his brother and sister's school. Unfortunately, they can't really say--it's all a matter of what is best for him and every school in the district has something a little different in terms of what they offer for kids with special needs. Of course I want the best fit for Curtis, but I'd be lying if I said it wouldn't be a huge disappointment for him to be at a school other than our "home school". His big sister, especially, would be devastated. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but we are getting there so soon! EEK! Unreal. 

Other news: Curtis is still swimming, although he's been sidelined a few times by ear infections. I have to be more diligent about putting in swim ear drops after his lessons. He has had outer ear infections, or swimmer's ear. They clear up fast, but are no fun while they are there. He is still working on his front breath and they are also now working on teaching him some elementary back stroke since he is so good at floating on his back! 

A few other photos just for fun--

 Here he is giving Santa his detailed list...

Somehow caught my cutie all alone on the steps after we saw Santa and got this shot...

 I hope everyone has a great holiday!

The Handwriting Saga

I'm going to warn you in advance that this is a bit of a
vent post.

I was worried that the day would eventually come, I just wasn't expecting it to happen so soon. The proverbial ball has been dropped, and, unfortunately, Curtis is one of the kids that is affected. 

Here we are in the middle of November and Curtis' occupational therapy (OT) through the school district has been lacking, to say the least. As you might remember, his school unfortunately lost their amazing occupational therapist at the end of the last school year (she moved to another state, such a bummer!) I had high hopes that this school year would be OK, however, as I knew she had left detailed information about Curtis and all the other kids she worked with. Apparently, the transition wasn't so smooth. I received word from Curtis' preschool teacher about 6 weeks ago that he wasn't being pulled from class for his OT services. Or, at least not as frequently as she thought he should. When I questioned Curtis' case manager about this, she emailed the therapist and asked her to get in touch with me with more information about his OT schedule and how everything was going. 

What I heard back from the occupational therapist didn't sound very promising. At all. She told me she had "scheduling challenges" and that he did "not have a consistent OT service time". Apparently, due to multiple assessments and meetings, she had missed service times for the children needing therapy--including Curtis. Wait...WHAT?? Most of his OT support was, in fact, being worked in with his motor lab time, I was told. ("Motor lab" is where Curtis goes twice/week before school to work on gross motor activities--it's like physical therapy/physical education). I'm fine with them doing both fine and gross motor activities during motor lab, but I'm not OK with them completely replacing traditional OT with this combo of OT and motor lab. Especially without my consent. This type of OT is so not what was planned when I signed his IEP last May. And it is so not the same kind of OT he has had the past two years through the school district. 

Honestly, all I can say about this is, "What the hell is going on here? How can they suddenly make these changes? And how is it that it's now been 3 months into the school year and there is still not any sort of OT schedule for my child? How is this acceptable?" 

In the meantime, Curtis has become very interested in writing letters. I shouldn't really say "in the meantime"--he's been interested for several months, really, but he's become obsessed with it recently. He tries to write his name pretty much any chance he gets--he does an OK job, but requires quite a bit of help. In his preschool class, they are starting to work on writing their names and working on the basics of holding a pencil properly and have even started to keep their own little journals where they can practice writing their name and draw little pictures. Great, right? Yes--except when Curtis' teacher showed me his journal, she expressed some concern. I guess there was a page where they were to write their name and Curtis' just looked like scribbles. I could see some attempts at letters, but no one else could probably notice that the thing in the corner was a "C" or that the scribble to the side was supposed to be an "S". Her reason for concern? Well, she said that Curtis could do better than that last year. My child is regressing? Is this from lack of OT? I don't know. Maybe it's just a coincidence. Maybe I'm crazy, but I'm also upset. Angry, yes, but mostly just sad. OK, that's not true. I'm pissed. I guess I'm both.

I don't have a photo of the journal. I wish I did, but I don't. You wouldn't see much, anyway. Just scribbles.

I do have this picture--

"Curtis"--written by Curtis, with help, on 10/3/13. It's not bad, but he needed help with the C, starting the U, and the entire S. (that's a donut above his name, by the way, heehee)

Back to the story...and this is where it gets silly...

Before his teacher even showed me the scribbles in the journal, I had emailed Curtis' case manager and asked if we could get the therapist to help him work on handwriting skills. So the afternoon after I talked to the teacher about the journal, I heard back from the case manager. That's when I got the news that the new OT is no longer at the school! She's gone! She "didn't work out." Really? Well, that's a shocker. Now there is another new OT. Awesome. So, what does this mean? Will she have to evaluate Curtis before anything gets done? If so, how long will that take? And how long before she can get a "consistent OT service time"? UGH! I'm taking deep breaths and hoping for the best. No, really, I am.

**deep breaths**

Realizing that all of this could take a long time, and Curtis could be sitting around waiting to be taught, I decided that I had to step in and do something. So Curtis and I (and his big sister, the little teacher-in-training) have spent the last few weeks using a great iPad app called "Wet, Dry, Try" from the Handwriting Without Tears (HWT) program (a great, great program!).

Some photos of Curtis practicing an uppercase "I":

 

 

I also bought some of the supplies (little chalkboard, chalk, My First Schoolbook, and Teacher's Guide) from their website so I can start working with Curtis at home while the school system gets "situated", shall we say. I'm really, really hoping that Curtis can go to kindergarten next year and I really don't see why that dream can't come a reality for us without continued, consistent hard work. True, he will likely need the assistance of an aide--in fact, it's something that I want for him considering his physical limitations--but Curtis should be able to do many of the things the other kids in a mainstream class are doing. And I believe that one of those things is writing letters, numbers, and his name. Definitely his name! And the fact that he is practically begging to sit and learn to write--we have to teach him! I'm not an occupational therapist, nor a teacher...but I will try my best to do what I can.

Videos of Curtis using the app...

I have to take a quick second to say that I'm so grateful that Curtis has such an amazing occupational therapist through CCS--she has really helped us these last few weeks (no joke, Curtis has been crazy obsessed with trying to write letters and his name). Even though they are not supposed to work on school-related therapy needs, she has allowed him to work on it a little bit during their therapy time each week and she has told me what she knows about the HWT program, she gave me suggestions for what items to buy from the website, and she even let us borrow a CD with songs about writing letters that she has from the program. She's really great.

So Curtis has been using this app for about 2 weeks, and here is an example of how he wrote his name yesterday--and he wrote it all by himself!! Big sis had him write it in 4 different colors :)

See those uppercase "R"s? He had never attempted one before the HWT app came along. Now I guess he's some sort of pro at them. The "U"s with the little line coming down are still my favorites, with the "i" coming in a close second :) I think he's doing awesome. I can't wait to see how much he improves after we get the set in the mail from the HWT program! 

So back to the school situation...I've already told the case manager what I want for Curtis in the months to come and we are working on getting a date set for a meeting. Since he's missed so much therapy so far this year, I want them to double his therapy (going from one day/week to two days/week--mind you, he wasn't even doing one day/week). I don't want all of his OT combined with motor lab. I want him focusing on writing skills (while working on other fine motor skills, as well) so he can work along with his peers in class and be prepared for a kindergarten setting. Curtis is ready to learn and to be taught. It's time for them to be ready to help him. Enough with the inconsistent schedules and the lack of time for the kids that are there because they need their time. Enough. Get it together.   

I don't think my requests are unreasonable. I don't think I'm asking for too much. Do you?

I'll keep you posted on progress and how the meeting turns out. Wish us luck! 

One more year

Ever since his last day of preschool, Curtis been asking when he gets to go back to school. Today the day finally came! He was so excited. I couldn't even get any good photos because he didn't want to sit or stand still. Every photo I took with my phone came out blurry. 

With big bro and big sis before they took off for their first day--also today.

Luckily for Curtis, he is at the same preschool, with the same main teacher, in the same classroom, and with most of the same kids. So the transition to pre-K, at least on this first day, was not huge. There were no tears. I didn't have to show him around. Or make any introductions. Everything was familiar and comfortable--for both of us. It was nice.

He picked out his shirt--"Kabooom!" I think he was ready to go, don't you?

When I picked him up, he was happy to see me. "Mommy!" he yelled and came running up to me, collapsing in to my arms. It feels so good to still be needed...my big kids don't do that anymore. He had tired eyes. I almost thought for a second that he was going to cry, but he didn't. I was worried that a busy day of fun and play and a new routine might result in a potty accident (or two) during the five hours of school, but that didn't happen, either. So proud of him. He really is my big boy. My little boy, always--but my big boy, too.

I've been thinking about this final year of preschool (pre-K as my big kids insist on calling it) a lot in the last few weeks. I'm trying not to stress about the fact that kindergarten is only a year away. ONE YEAR. Twelve months. It seems like a long time, but is it? Is it enough time? Will his social/fine motor/gross motor skills all be "just right" for him to be in the "regular" kinder class at his big brother and big sister's school? 

Sometimes it's hard to take notice of how much our kids have grown and changed in a year. Of course we can measure physical growth--pants get too short, shoes no longer fit, and belly buttons poke out of shirts...all things that let us know that they are getting bigger, taller. I remember seeing cool photos people posted on Facebook and Instagram last June that showed side-by-side images of kids on their first and last days of school.  Some of the physical changes in the kids were really extraordinary. How can 9-10 months change our little ones in so many ways? They lose their baby fat, they earn more freckles, their hair gets longer or they change it completely with a new cut. They are different. You can't go back--they are forever changed. Even seeing photos of other people's kids go through this transformation amazes me. It just goes so fast. That old saying that everyone warns you about. Oh, the truth.

But what about the other changes? All those things you can't see in those first and last day of school photographs: new social skills, maybe some physical challenges that were overcome, and how much they learned in school that year. When I start to worry about next year, I tell myself to think about Curtis and this past year of preschool--I feel like I have to keep reminding myself how much he grew and changed during that year. And I need to focus on the idea that similar changes and similar growth will likely occur this coming year. His "pre-K" year. This is not to say that I will become lazy or that I will stop paying attention to his progress. His therapy--speech and OT, at least--have been cut in half at school this year, based on how great he was doing last year. But what if he isn't doing quite so well this year? Something will have to change. I want to make sure he is doing as well as my other two kids by the time they were entering kindergarten! If I feel the need to push for more of anything, I will. If he needs more "work-at-home" help, I'm there.  

Anything. Whatever this boys needs to get him prepared for mainstream kindergarten, I'm there. Always.

And that is not to say I'm opposed to the other school options--kinder with the help of an aide, kinder at another elementary school within our public school district, placement in the special day classroom at our school, and, possibly, private education. I'm not opposed to any option! I've always said that whatever is best for my boy is what we will do. 

I won't lie--the thought of him going into kindergarten puts a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't describe. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I don't know why. Am I worried that he won't succeed? That he won't make friends? He's already proven that he can do both. So I think that while I need to be cautious, diligent even, when it comes to his learning and "skills" during this year of pre-K...I also need to let him go about his business. I need to let him grow. 

He still has one more year.

KA-BOOOM!

And then he cried...

We just returned from our amazing annual summer trip to Montana to visit my aunt and uncle. I shouldn't really say "just" because it's actually been a week and a half. We came home exhausted and out-of-sorts, but in a good way for once. And then my daughter was hit with a nasty stomach bug that I later got. Anyhow, it took us a good week to get back into the swing of things. I'm just now looking back at photos and remembering the trip.

Curtis loves these trips. We have been going every summer since Curtis was a year old--the year we rented an RV and drove from AZ to MT and back again. A crazy fun road trip we took with three kids age 5 and under and no idea what we were doing!

That year, we picked raspberries, swam in the lake, drank huckleberry milkshakes, ate every meal outside, went fishing, took rides in my uncle's boat, collected eggs from the chickens, and watched the sunset over the river. It was amazing--for both adults and kids--and we quickly decided we needed to go back every summer. And we have. The following years have included my parents, as well.

So what is it about these trips that my little dude loves so much? What sets them apart from, say, our annual trips to Hawaii? (Tropical paradise--hello?) 

There is magic in Montana. Curtis knows it. He knows that the second he gets off the plane, he is going to enter a world of adventure. Of the great outdoors (he loves to be outside). Of being surrounded by his favorite family members--grandma, grandpa, aunt, and uncle. Of late nights eating ice cream with raspberry sauce made out of berries that he helped pick. Of racing little speed boats with his favorite uncle. Of throwing rocks into the river with his grandma. Of taking mid-afternoon naps on the couch with mommy. 

Something changes in Curtis when we go to Montana. Curtis comes alive. He blossoms. It probably sounds totally corny and cliche, but it's true. There are fewer tantrums. Less fighting with siblings. Less arguing with mommy! He doesn't fight naps, but rather asks for them. He's willing to try things that my normally timid, cautious little boy would never try--paddle boarding!? Who is this kid? I love it! One day I imagine him trying (and succeeding) at wake boarding or knee boarding or waterskiing. I can picture him in a few year's time going out on the river on the paddle board all by himself, just like his big brother and sister did this year for their first time.  

It will be awesome.

sprinkler fun

 

just hanging out--in the middle of the lake

 driving the remote control boat

 power nap

 

 running down the hill

ice cream break

This year, when we were heading to the airport, my kids kept saying they didn't want to leave. None of us did, really. Who wants to go back to "the real world" after a lovely vacation? When it was time to say goodbye to my aunt and uncle, however, something happened that has never really happened when leaving Montana. Curtis cried. Like, lip quivering, needed to be held and consoled type of cry. He was genuinely sad to leave them, and Montana, and for this time to be over. And that was when I realized just how much he loved this trip and his family and just how special it all is to him. I had to choke back tears, myself. 

I will never again take this little family trip for granted, for I now know the joy it brings to my boy. If it makes him happy, it makes me over-the-moon. 

drinking his "soda 7" as he calls it ;) only on vacation!!

Quick School Update

I just realized that some people aren't on Facebook and therefore don't get the little updates that I post on the All About Lefty Facebook page. 

In my last post, I talked about Curtis' upcoming IEP meeting. I was nervous. Always am with those things. Long story short--it went great. Curtis will be at the same preschool next year, but we will be bumping him up to the 4 year old class. He will continue with PT, OT, APE, and speech. The OT and speech will decrease to one half hour session/week instead of two half hour sessions. APE will remain two sessions/week. 

Sometime during January/February of 2014 we will be meeting to discuss his transition to kindergarten. Just the thought makes me anxious. I really want him to go to the same elementary school as his older siblings. I think that shouldn't be a problem. As long as he continues to do as well as he's been doing, there's no reason for him to go elsewhere. If something changes and he needs more assistance, there are other schools within the district that might be a better fit. Of course, we will pick the school that is best for him. Even though I know big bro and big sis would be devastated. They've wanted him at their school for so long. So this next year I'm really going to try my best to get Curtis physically and socially ready for that leap into kinder. For his sake and for big bro and big sis. Hoping we can make that happen! 

For now, we're just happy with where we're at for next year. 

Summer starts in two weeks. 

Curtis turns FIVE in 10 days.

WOW!