Summertime Blues

"I'm gonna raise a fuss, I'm gonna raise a holler...

Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do

But there ain't no cure for the summertime blues."

Forget the rest of the song, those three lines could be my anthem for this past week (and, mind you, the first week) of our summer break. Something has gone desperately wrong. We are off schedule. No, we really don't have a schedule. I think that is the problem. I'm hoping that is the problem, at least. We thrive on schedules here and without one, I think things have just fallen apart. Curtis has fallen apart. So have I. And things have gone cuckoo. I won't lie, I don't quite know what to do. 

Here is what is happening with Curtis: potty accidents (several a day some days), early morning wake-ups that involve getting into trouble (examples--letting the puppy out of her crate to run around the house, eating popsicles and a Snickers bar for breakfast, using scissors to puncture holes in juice boxes and letting said juice boxes spill all over the floor, pulling his lunch box out of the pantry then pouring water inside it), temper tantrums, screaming fits, telling me "no!" constantly, and fighting with his older brother and sister all day long. He even told me he hated me the other day. So sad. 

Summertime Blues, yo. I've got 'em.

It's been exhausting. And frustrating. And upsetting in the sense that I don't really know what is going on or how to fix it without sending him back to school and getting him back in his routine--which is not an option until the third week of August. The fact is, he won't have a set routine this summer. It's just not going to happen! We have summer camps for big bro and big sis for a few weeks and a family vacation later in July and then a few weeks of just nothingness before heading back to school. No set schedule. How are we going to deal?

All last week I kind of just tried to take deep breaths and cross my fingers that things would situate themselves. I'm trying to be that person that lets things roll of my back more. I'm a stress-case by nature and, frankly, I'm kind of over it. The stress, that is. I want to be mellow. People (my mom, husband) tell me to relax more. "Chill out. It will work out, don't worry about it. He'll figure it out. You'll figure it out." Yeah, guess what? It didn't work. And I really can't deal with another week, or an entire summer, of Curtis in la-la-land. Having that feeling of him progressing and doing so amazingly well at the end of his school year only to then have a week like we just had SUCKS. And I don't know if a non-special needs parent or if my mom or even my own husband can even understand what it feels like to have Curtis acting this way and for him to be back into the thing of peeing his pants sometimes 3-4 times a day! He's 5! And two weeks ago, he wasn't doing this! So, yeah, it's upsetting and the deep breaths aren't cutting it. I feel like a huge parenting failure. It wasn't a good week.

So what do I do? I actually asked his pediatrician about the accidents (we had an appt for 5 year check-up on Friday). I was worried at first with all these accidents--potty-training regression can be a sign of seizures. But he's showing no other signs--it's just one of those things that I'm always watching for. Anyhow, doc said not to worry unless any other signs start to pop up. He thinks he's just being lazy and that I need to treat him like he's potty training again (yay!) I have to start bringing him to the potty every half hour or so and just get back into the potty routine. I guess for some reason Curtis thought summer vacation also meant potty vacation. I don't know who gave him that lousy bit of false information! So I'm adding that to my daily to-do list. The good news is that I tried to ask him and take him a lot more this weekend and he did seem to do better, so that's good. 

What about the behavioral problems and the early morning wake-ups with the super fun household destruction? I think the behavior is tied to the early rising. I wish I had a solution for those 5:30am mornings. All of my kids have done it. All three are still up by 6:30am every morning. But 5:30? Too early. I feel like we've tried everything to get him to stay in bed an extra hour but if anyone has suggestions, I'd love to hear them. He does still nap during the day--anywhere from 1.5-2 hours on most days. (I will not get rid of his nap so don't try suggesting it. Without it, he's a mess and falls asleep at around 4 or 5:00pm for a nap, which is not OK.)

Routines in the summer--how do you do it? Does anyone have suggestions for that? Is it even possible with things like camps and vacations? Curtis does still have therapy once/week and swim lessons twice/week, so at least those are some consistencies in his routine. But he's really missing school already! And I thought I was looking forward to summer and a break from our typical routine, but now I'm thinking I was wrong.

HELP! I had a post I was working on that was going to be all about the fun things we had planned for summer and how I was going to work in some sneaky therapy-type goals into his summer play time. And then this happened. 

Someone give me my old kid back!

(He looks like this, if you happen to find him...cute little bugger...)

What A Day

June 20, 2013--This was a big day for our little guy. 

First off, he turned five. FIVE. 5. That's just the age where you no longer sound like a "little" kid anymore. I think he's officially a "big" kid. Is he? Because, crap...I'm not ready for that. Can I just pretend he's 3 forever? Not that I'm particularly fond of that age or anything--I am just not ready for him to grow up. 

Dude, he's 5. I can't take it.

So we didn't really have a big party for him this year. His bday fell during the last week of school for both him and his siblings, so it's a crazy busy week. We also decided to pull out the big guns and get the kid his own iPad mini for his birthday--a splurge that took the place of a big party. I let him have the choice between big party or iPad. He chose the iPad. Smart kid. We did have a tiny gathering with my parents and two family friends at a local pizza place the night before his birthday. Simple, simple, simple. The day of his birthday was also his last day of preschool. No cupcakes are allowed in the class (bummer), so I brought them right AFTER class. Smart mom. Curtis loved sharing cupcakes with all of his friends from preschool. I was happy that the parents let their kids stick around to grab one after school. We even passed out bubbles to the kids as a little "happy summer" gift. Curtis and a few of his friends (and big bro and big sis and grandma were all there, too) stayed for almost an hour to play on the playground after eating cupcakes. Curtis had a lot of fun and that's all that matters. 

With big sis at his tiny pizza party

All smiles while friends and family sing "happy birthday"

Preschool cupcakes--Curtis loves Curious George so I made these cupcake toppers

Like I said, today was his last day of preschool. I'm not quite sure he realizes this. He absolutely loves school and a few weeks ago I was trying to explain to him that he was going to be on summer break, which meant no school for 2 months. He started to cry. His older brother tried to tell him that summer break was fun and that no school was a good thing, but Curtis only got mad. Yeah, he really likes school that much. It was a bittersweet day walking away from the school today. I'm so proud of Curtis and all he's done--what a great year he's had! But it's definitely a bummer to go. I feel his pain! I'm excited for next year, though. He'll have most of the same kids in his class, and at least one of the same teachers. I know he's going to love it and I know he's going to learn more, make more new friends, and continue to improve on everything. Exciting things! Fun things!

I have to show you this. His preschool does the cutest thing--at the beginning of the year you give them an empty scrapbook. Throughout the year they fill it with photos and "artwork" and then return it to you on the last day of school. Since Curtis will be going to the same school next year, his teacher told me I can add pages to it and give them the same scrapbook next year. BAM! Preschool scrapbook--done. How cool is that?? Love it. 

 Pages from Curtis' preschool scrapbook

So we did have one bummer today and that was saying goodbye to Curtis' occupational therapist, who is moving to another state this summer. "Miss Joann" (she's actually a married mom of two, but we call her "miss" anyway) has been his OT at school for 2 years now and we just love her. Not only is she a great OT, but she is just one of those people that is always smiling. Always. She is also patient, and sweet, and loving, and everything that you would want in a therapist for your child. Not long after he started preschool, Curtis fell. He was just on the playground, walking across the blacktop area and somehow he tripped. He didn't get his hands down in time and his face hit the ground full force. He split his lip, hit his nose, and hit his forehead. It was Miss Joann that called me to let me know he was hurt and it was she who stayed with Curtis in the nurse's office and comforted him until I arrived. He was in pain, but he was also scared--he had a bad bloody nose and there was A LOT of blood all over the playground and all over him. When I got there, she was sitting with him, hugging him, showing him photos on her iPhone. She took care of him. She's really great and we are going to miss her terribly. Of course we wish her and her family the best. 

Curtis and Miss Joann

Between my baby turning 5, finishing up his last day of preschool, and having to say adios to one of the best therapists ever, I've been a big ball of emotions today. And I'm exhausted. And so ready for summer! I hope to get some fun summer activities planned and a maybe a few goals put in place for Curtis so he won't be so upset that he's out of school :)

The Best Part Wasn't Even In the IEP...

I just had Curtis' IEP meeting, as you recall, and it was awesome. The therapists and his teacher went on and on about how much progress he's made. How much he's grown. How amazed they are by him and all his achievements in this past year. No doubt, everything I wanted to hear. We all agreed that we are proud of him. Considering how unsure I was at the start of the school year, I was so happy to hear all of this at the meeting that concluded the year. He had reached several goals on his IEP.

Stepping aside from that for a minute, I want to talk about something really cool that happened this past weekend. Curtis went to a birthday party. I know what you're thinking--what? Big deal! Yeah, OK, so he's been to a bazillion birthday parties in his almost-5-years of life, but this one was different. What was so special about this birthday party was that it was all his own. And by that I mean his older siblings were not invited. In the past, Curtis has gone to parties for kids his age, but his siblings have also been invited because the kids having the party were family friends. The party this weekend was for a friend of Curtis' from preschool. In fact, it was for one of his best little buddies from school--a kid that he connected with from the beginning of the school year. And I can't even tell you how much fun it was to watch Curtis at this little pirate-themed party. Seeing him run around the park with all of his friends from preschool was like a dream come true for me. To help you understand, I'll have to take you back in time about 2 years, if you don't mind, to the first IEP meeting I had with the school district...

During that first meeting, they tried to convince me to sign Curtis up for his first year of preschool. He would, after all, be 3 years old by the start of the school year. But he was unprepared in so many ways. I won't go into too much detail with all the things I was worried about, but the fact that we hadn't started potty-training, his speech issues, and problems with balance were a few. All of those were issues they said they could "deal with" considering he was special needs. I didn't feel comfortable putting him in class, though, with a group of "average" three-year-olds that were potty-trained, had a good vocabulary, and could navigate a playground like nobody's business. And I didn't want him to be "dealt with", I wanted him to more or less slide right in. To fit in.

Besides all of this other stuff I was worried about, however, I had another concern. Curtis was lacking in social skills. Sure, he had older siblings, so he was always around other kids, but that wasn't the type of socializing he needed. He had never been part of a play group. He never went to toddler music class like my other kids. The time that should have been spent doing those things--the type of things that help socialize babies and toddlers--was instead spent mostly in therapy sessions. No other children were involved in those therapy sessions, it was me, Curtis, and the therapist. Even our trips to the park weren't spent interacting with other little kiddos. That time usually involved me shadowing him everywhere--to help him up and down every little step, to make sure he didn't trip, to be there just in case any other kid bumped into him and knocked him off balance. Park time wasn't social hour with other toddlers, it was Curtis and Mommy time. In fact, almost every hour of every day was Curtis and Mommy time. I never had a problem with this, I loved it, but I now realized it was a problem for Curtis. Before he started school, he needed to be around kids--lots of them! So in addition to the potty-training, I had to get him socialized.

Luckily, he's a pretty social kid! And I completely lucked out that our city's Park and Rec. Department had a PRE-preschool "Mommy-and-Me" class. I spoke to the teacher and she made an exception on the age limit for Curtis (max age was supposed to be around 3 yrs old, if I recall, and they let him go until he was around 3 1/2). It was perfect for him. He learned the basics of preschool: circle time, snack time, singing little songs, and how to share and play with kids his own age. It was great. Still--it was "Mommy and me". I was there to help with any problems. Always there.

Then I blinked and it was August 2012 and time for real preschool. Lo and behold, I still had my doubts. Had I done enough to get him ready? How would he feel being around all these new kids? Would the other kids like him and want to play with him? Would they notice things about him? That he couldn't or wouldn't go up and down the play structure like they did? That he walked different? That he couldn't run as fast or jump as high or ride a tricycle? If they did notice these things, would they ostracize him? Would he be an outcast? I spent hours (maybe days...OK, maybe the whole summer) worrying about these things. Wondering if the kids would accept him. Constantly going over and over all the different "worst case scenarios" in my mind. And do you know what? Here is what happened when those little 3 year old kids met Curtis and spent time getting to know him--nothing. And I mean that in the best way possible. All of those things I worried about and spent countless hours awake at night picturing in my mind--none of them happened. At least not that I am aware of. If a kid made fun of him or decided to not play with him because of his differences, no one ever told me about it. All I ever heard from Curtis was "my friend played with me today" and "I played on the swings with my friend" and "I have a new friend!" And all that I ever saw were smiles.

 So as I was sitting at this birthday party last weekend, looking at the kids from Curtis' class, it dawned on me. These kids in his preschool class--his very first "for reals" class EVER--are so special. Why? Because they all looked at my little boy and they loved him. They didn't see any differences. Or if they did, they didn't care. They saw a little boy that wanted to play and laugh and have fun, just like they did. He wanted to run and jump and look for bugs and play dress-up and ride tricycles and roar like a lion. He wanted to explore. He wanted to learn. Just like them. They have spent the last almost 10 months with him and they have helped him become a "regular" little boy. I have no doubt that they helped him get over his fear of slides. I also have no doubt that they are the reason he now tells me, "No, I want to do it all by myself, Mom!" They taught him what it was like to be a 3 or 4 year old (yes, temper tantrums and stubbornness included). During the recent IEP meeting, his teacher told me about one day when a little boy in the class was teaching Curtis how to stack magnetic blocks using two hands, because Curtis was trying (and failing) to do it with only one hand. She told me how patient the little boy was with him and how Curtis watched and listened and followed his lead. So these kids are even acting as therapists--haha! But, seriously...so damn amazing, I'm telling you. And they don't even realize it, these kids. How could they? They're just being kids. Playing. Having fun. When I picked Curtis up from school the other day, one of the little girls in his class yelled out to him, "Bye, Curtis! I love you!" I mean, give me a break. I almost lost it right there. They love him. And the feeling, I assure you, is mutual.

A few weeks ago, if you would have asked me how Curtis has changed or grown since starting preschool last August, I might have given you a list of things like this: he can now go down the slide on the playground, he can ride a tricycle, he can use scissors to cut a straight line, he can draw a "+" and a "o". Things that would show up as goals on an IEP, basically. 

Now I am thinking beyond that. Curtis now has his own friends. He gets invited to birthday parties--ones that his big brother and big sister don't get invited to. He has kids that get excited to see him at school and ask him if he wants to play the second he shows up. He has little girls that tell them that they love him (teehee). All of this...this is all big to him. It's made him a different kid. I know that all that other stuff--the pages and pages of stuff that is in the IEP--is crucial, don't get me wrong. But none of this cool social stuff that happened was even in the IEP. It just happened! And I think it's just as important. Curtis has grown and made progress simply by being around those adorable, sweet, fun little kiddos that he calls his friends. His buddies. 

They are awesome. I will never forget them for changing my boy. 

Photos from the party, you say? OK...

See that last photo? I think he's telling you he's going to be 5. Next week. Someone hand me a tissue, the waterworks are a-comin'...

Quick School Update

I just realized that some people aren't on Facebook and therefore don't get the little updates that I post on the All About Lefty Facebook page. 

In my last post, I talked about Curtis' upcoming IEP meeting. I was nervous. Always am with those things. Long story short--it went great. Curtis will be at the same preschool next year, but we will be bumping him up to the 4 year old class. He will continue with PT, OT, APE, and speech. The OT and speech will decrease to one half hour session/week instead of two half hour sessions. APE will remain two sessions/week. 

Sometime during January/February of 2014 we will be meeting to discuss his transition to kindergarten. Just the thought makes me anxious. I really want him to go to the same elementary school as his older siblings. I think that shouldn't be a problem. As long as he continues to do as well as he's been doing, there's no reason for him to go elsewhere. If something changes and he needs more assistance, there are other schools within the district that might be a better fit. Of course, we will pick the school that is best for him. Even though I know big bro and big sis would be devastated. They've wanted him at their school for so long. So this next year I'm really going to try my best to get Curtis physically and socially ready for that leap into kinder. For his sake and for big bro and big sis. Hoping we can make that happen! 

For now, we're just happy with where we're at for next year. 

Summer starts in two weeks. 

Curtis turns FIVE in 10 days.

WOW!