Is it possible to love someone too much? If so, then I love him too much. I think we all do. We love him and love ON him too much. We always have. He is the baby, after all.
And once we learned of his diagnosis (diagnosES, I should say), we loved him all the more. I know it's probably not something you should do--or should you?--love a child a little more once you hear that they will likely have medical issues and struggles throughout their life. But I do. It's not to say I love him more than my other children, but I do feel like I take more moments to pause and look at him and take him in. I baby him a lot more (is that not a given? Would I not have done this even so?)
My nickname for Curtis is "lover". "Good morning, lover!" "Come here, lover." "What do you want for dinner, lover?" I don't know how it came to be, but that is him...he is my lover. He went through a phase at one point where he would just look at me and gaze into my eyes and tell me he loved me. And with everything in me I knew that this child was something so special. And I hoped that he felt even half of the love from me that I felt from him.
On Thursday, Curtis goes in for orthopedic surgery on his left foot. It's called a "Triple C Osteotomy". In the last year or so, his left ankle has started to collapse and he has developed more of a flat foot on his left side. And it's starting to become painful. And it's starting to affect his leg, hips, and back. His AFO (ankle-foot orthotic) isn't helping this at all, and surgery is the best option. And this is the age to do it, even though I absolutely hate the thought of it.
He will be admitted at Rady Children's in the morning and, barring any complications during surgery, will be there for at least 24 hours. He will be in a cast and wheelchair for 8 weeks and he will be strictly non-weight bearing on that left side for the full 8 weeks. He will then be in intense physical therapy and will get a new, custom brace once the cast comes off. (And we are going to Hawaii for some swimming therapy and R&R when that cast comes off! Hallelujah!!)
So, in short--Lots and lots of adjustments coming our way in just a few days. Curtis still relies on others for a lot of things during his daily life. But, especially as he gets older, he likes to try to be independent. That is out the window these next 8 weeks, when he is going to need assistance with everything from getting dressed to being carried upstairs to going to the bathroom. It is going to be tough. Not just for him, but for all of us. Big bro and big sis are going to need to be helpers and I wonder how they will fare seeing him this way. They know what is coming, and I see the concern in their eyes when we discuss it--he is their baby, too, after all. (And I'm so grateful for their help and their love through all of this, I can't even tell you--what would I do without them?).
I will send photos and updates on the little man. Please send positive thoughts and vibes and prayers and whatever you do his way. They will be so appreciated from this stressed out mama!!