Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Battle of the Brace


“I hate this brace.” 
“What do you mean you hate it?”
“I just hate it. I hate wearing it. I just want to be normal—Like the other kids.” 
And my heart breaks. 
“Wait, buddy, did someone say something? To you? About the brace?”
“No. I just hate it. I hate that I walk different.”
I have him come over to me and I pull him into my arms. I rest my chin on top of his head...
“OK. I know. But you know we are all made different, right? So you are made different than me. I’m different than JoJo. She is different from her friends. So, really, it’s normal to be different. And having a brace is just your normal.” 
I pull him in closer. “You’ll be OK, lover.”
“OK. But I still hate it.”
He walks away. 
And I get it. I hate it, too. But it’s not the brace I hate. I hate that he feels like his “different” isn’t “normal”. We all feel that way about something about ourselves at some point, don’t we? (Or maybe at many points). But for him, I know it will be an uphill battle. 
I hate it. 
I hate that because he can’t run as fast as the other kids or because he doesn’t walk the same way, he feels like he belongs in a separate category. Normal vs not normal. I hate that people will judge him and make assumptions about him. 

I hate it because I look at him and I just see my little boy. Different, yes. But he’s mine. 

And, besides...we don’t really mind different over here. 

Actually, we love it. 



**It’s been almost a year since Curtis’s cast came off after surgery and he is still in his AFO almost 100% of the time. He is soon to be 10 years old (yikes) and we anticipate that after this brace, which provides a lot of stabilization for his ankle, he will transition into a carbon fiber AFO for his drop foot. So...we will need to "embrace the brace" for a while longer.

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