One more year

Ever since his last day of preschool, Curtis been asking when he gets to go back to school. Today the day finally came! He was so excited. I couldn't even get any good photos because he didn't want to sit or stand still. Every photo I took with my phone came out blurry. 

With big bro and big sis before they took off for their first day--also today.

Luckily for Curtis, he is at the same preschool, with the same main teacher, in the same classroom, and with most of the same kids. So the transition to pre-K, at least on this first day, was not huge. There were no tears. I didn't have to show him around. Or make any introductions. Everything was familiar and comfortable--for both of us. It was nice.

He picked out his shirt--"Kabooom!" I think he was ready to go, don't you?

When I picked him up, he was happy to see me. "Mommy!" he yelled and came running up to me, collapsing in to my arms. It feels so good to still be needed...my big kids don't do that anymore. He had tired eyes. I almost thought for a second that he was going to cry, but he didn't. I was worried that a busy day of fun and play and a new routine might result in a potty accident (or two) during the five hours of school, but that didn't happen, either. So proud of him. He really is my big boy. My little boy, always--but my big boy, too.

I've been thinking about this final year of preschool (pre-K as my big kids insist on calling it) a lot in the last few weeks. I'm trying not to stress about the fact that kindergarten is only a year away. ONE YEAR. Twelve months. It seems like a long time, but is it? Is it enough time? Will his social/fine motor/gross motor skills all be "just right" for him to be in the "regular" kinder class at his big brother and big sister's school? 

Sometimes it's hard to take notice of how much our kids have grown and changed in a year. Of course we can measure physical growth--pants get too short, shoes no longer fit, and belly buttons poke out of shirts...all things that let us know that they are getting bigger, taller. I remember seeing cool photos people posted on Facebook and Instagram last June that showed side-by-side images of kids on their first and last days of school.  Some of the physical changes in the kids were really extraordinary. How can 9-10 months change our little ones in so many ways? They lose their baby fat, they earn more freckles, their hair gets longer or they change it completely with a new cut. They are different. You can't go back--they are forever changed. Even seeing photos of other people's kids go through this transformation amazes me. It just goes so fast. That old saying that everyone warns you about. Oh, the truth.

But what about the other changes? All those things you can't see in those first and last day of school photographs: new social skills, maybe some physical challenges that were overcome, and how much they learned in school that year. When I start to worry about next year, I tell myself to think about Curtis and this past year of preschool--I feel like I have to keep reminding myself how much he grew and changed during that year. And I need to focus on the idea that similar changes and similar growth will likely occur this coming year. His "pre-K" year. This is not to say that I will become lazy or that I will stop paying attention to his progress. His therapy--speech and OT, at least--have been cut in half at school this year, based on how great he was doing last year. But what if he isn't doing quite so well this year? Something will have to change. I want to make sure he is doing as well as my other two kids by the time they were entering kindergarten! If I feel the need to push for more of anything, I will. If he needs more "work-at-home" help, I'm there.  

Anything. Whatever this boys needs to get him prepared for mainstream kindergarten, I'm there. Always.

And that is not to say I'm opposed to the other school options--kinder with the help of an aide, kinder at another elementary school within our public school district, placement in the special day classroom at our school, and, possibly, private education. I'm not opposed to any option! I've always said that whatever is best for my boy is what we will do. 

I won't lie--the thought of him going into kindergarten puts a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't describe. It's like nothing I've ever felt before. I don't know why. Am I worried that he won't succeed? That he won't make friends? He's already proven that he can do both. So I think that while I need to be cautious, diligent even, when it comes to his learning and "skills" during this year of pre-K...I also need to let him go about his business. I need to let him grow. 

He still has one more year.

KA-BOOOM!

And then he cried...

We just returned from our amazing annual summer trip to Montana to visit my aunt and uncle. I shouldn't really say "just" because it's actually been a week and a half. We came home exhausted and out-of-sorts, but in a good way for once. And then my daughter was hit with a nasty stomach bug that I later got. Anyhow, it took us a good week to get back into the swing of things. I'm just now looking back at photos and remembering the trip.

Curtis loves these trips. We have been going every summer since Curtis was a year old--the year we rented an RV and drove from AZ to MT and back again. A crazy fun road trip we took with three kids age 5 and under and no idea what we were doing!

That year, we picked raspberries, swam in the lake, drank huckleberry milkshakes, ate every meal outside, went fishing, took rides in my uncle's boat, collected eggs from the chickens, and watched the sunset over the river. It was amazing--for both adults and kids--and we quickly decided we needed to go back every summer. And we have. The following years have included my parents, as well.

So what is it about these trips that my little dude loves so much? What sets them apart from, say, our annual trips to Hawaii? (Tropical paradise--hello?) 

There is magic in Montana. Curtis knows it. He knows that the second he gets off the plane, he is going to enter a world of adventure. Of the great outdoors (he loves to be outside). Of being surrounded by his favorite family members--grandma, grandpa, aunt, and uncle. Of late nights eating ice cream with raspberry sauce made out of berries that he helped pick. Of racing little speed boats with his favorite uncle. Of throwing rocks into the river with his grandma. Of taking mid-afternoon naps on the couch with mommy. 

Something changes in Curtis when we go to Montana. Curtis comes alive. He blossoms. It probably sounds totally corny and cliche, but it's true. There are fewer tantrums. Less fighting with siblings. Less arguing with mommy! He doesn't fight naps, but rather asks for them. He's willing to try things that my normally timid, cautious little boy would never try--paddle boarding!? Who is this kid? I love it! One day I imagine him trying (and succeeding) at wake boarding or knee boarding or waterskiing. I can picture him in a few year's time going out on the river on the paddle board all by himself, just like his big brother and sister did this year for their first time.  

It will be awesome.

sprinkler fun

 

just hanging out--in the middle of the lake

 driving the remote control boat

 power nap

 

 running down the hill

ice cream break

This year, when we were heading to the airport, my kids kept saying they didn't want to leave. None of us did, really. Who wants to go back to "the real world" after a lovely vacation? When it was time to say goodbye to my aunt and uncle, however, something happened that has never really happened when leaving Montana. Curtis cried. Like, lip quivering, needed to be held and consoled type of cry. He was genuinely sad to leave them, and Montana, and for this time to be over. And that was when I realized just how much he loved this trip and his family and just how special it all is to him. I had to choke back tears, myself. 

I will never again take this little family trip for granted, for I now know the joy it brings to my boy. If it makes him happy, it makes me over-the-moon. 

drinking his "soda 7" as he calls it ;) only on vacation!!